Saturday, September 1, 2012 @ 11:03 PM 0 stares
-gloryszabo
It's been awhile. I know you're tired of listening to my craps and I know Im not suppose to bring things up like this again but I just really want to point this out.
So hey maybe I was too much towards you. The way I feel. Trust. Believe. Expect. Think. Worry. Love. Care. Maybe because I ain't got that kind of loving from anyone every since my Mom died. I felt so special because of you and that affected me a lot. You were the only person that made me feel that way. Now, I feel so embarass for being such a [slave towards what I feel for you.] Sad in almost every way cause I thought you'd be here with me doing this and that. Disappointed cause I don't know what to do next. Bitch cause Im starting to push people away from my life. Started a fight with Cha2 cause she lies all the time. And even mad at everyone. Annoyed. Fucked up. And just not right.
I hate myself for screwing things this bad. For letting myself be placed in this situation AGAIN. For feeling this emotional anxiety everyday. Im fighting everyday for no reason and just get tired and depressed. No, Im not tired of college. Im tired of hiding myself from you. Scared that I'll see you in this hallway and ignore me like what you always do. Leave me crying like mad at school cause you found my blog. Act like you never received any of my texts. Go with edch cause you know that'll make me jealous. Afraid of checking facebook cause there you are so happy and free with your inspired status and pictures of where you guys been having fun. Find every possible way to show me how happy you are and me just devastated and paranoid about everything.
But Im still happy for you. You seem so happy all the time that I wonder if you ever thought about me or even the little promises we said. But hey Im really happy for you. I really do.You got whole new bunch of friends and a family that really loves you.
Im really hoping for US to be friends again, not just some pass-me-by-the-hallway friend. A kind of friend that you USED to be. We used to be...: I really miss you.