Tuesday, September 4, 2012 @ 11:50 AM 0 stares
Room 207. Yes, its a new place. Internet. New Bed. New study table. New closet. New environment. New people. SAME SHIT. EVEN WORSE than Labangon.
It's been 2 months since I started living here and yes, its different. Different in a way cause unlike in Labangon here it's BORING. Boring cause I don't have persons to talk to, No dogs to play with, Have walls that makes you thought of things, Double deck bed which is so hard to climb and NO FOOD.
Person to Talk To
I mean, Im used to this stuff. I got no one to talk to about everything but there's just empty here. I feel like I don't want to talk to Tats cause he's serious. Tiny talks to me but I don't know if I should trust her in some ways. It's hard when you've got no one to talk to inside a room, you tend to be suicidal sometimes cause you think you're not worth a voice for.
No Dogs to Play with
Im an animal lover. I don't understand how Tiny can look that angelicly good and pretty but hates animals particularly Dogs. In labangon, when Im bored I just go outside and play with KingKong and Sparky. Here, I'll just glance at those dogs at the Cebu Vet and think to myself if I could just go inside and play with those dogs or steal one and bring in here. It'll be great having a dog here, I could really get use some company.
Walls
Well, i slept in a double deck-ed bed and unfortunately on the TOP BED. Its hard to climb these things cause you might step on someone's face or worst woke them up while they're fast asleep. Its hard to go down, too cause it makes metal noises. And yes, Walls. You see mate, I see walls in these room. White walls create a different ambiance to one's mind. So the more you see it, the more you think of deeper thoughts. Like one of those rooms inside a psychiatric ward. White walls and there's bed and then YOU. It makes me feel trap always. Like Im not going anywhere cause you're suppose to stay here, study those ass out, cause you don't have enough money to go out and cause you chose to transfer here rather than staying in your Aunt's house. Making you feel guilty about transferring.
FOOD
This. For the record, I was never the patay gutom type my whole life and I think thats pretty obvious by looks of mine. But somehow when I got here, everything is always HUNGRY. I got to find some place where I can fit my small allowance and at the same time get myself FULL. Its hard to study when your stomach is growling and scratching for FOOD always. I really really wish I can eat a lot these days. Everyone's telling me that Im too skinny which makes me look unhealthy and unattractive.
So by the looks of it, yeah I don't like this place. I don't want to be here. I want to stay somewhere I can really feel at home. Like in Asturias. I miss Labangon. But I can't go back there cause I know they'd laugh at me. I want to prove to them that I can live by myself without them checking on me and insulting me in every fucking way. Someday, I'll prove that to them. Someday Im going to have my own house here in the City with my brother and we're going to have our car just like them. And we're going to buy anything we like without them feeling pity on us. And as for you Dad, I know you'll never be proud of me. I just want you to know that I will be working someday and I won't be needing your help just to sustain us. If you only knew how many times I have to try myself, stopping myself to tell you about everything. But I guess, we're not worth listening for. Im not worth listening for. And I hate you for that.