I was too depressed this few days and it really affected my mood everyday. I was having mood swings and usually end up ANGRY all the time! Its sembreak for god’s sake and here I am still thinking about my final grade in MATH! I know it sounds stupid but I AM AN HONOR STUDENT SINCE GRADE SCHOOL and trust me, I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY MATH SHOULD BE LEARNED IN SO COMPLICATED WAYS. I mean, addition,subtraction,multiplication and division are the only BASIC MATH that can really help one’s daily living! I don’t get why it should be complicated in so many ways PROBLEM SOLVING,EQUATIONS, and other CRAP numbers!

Celebrated my 17th birthday yesterday and fuck it, i don’t feel like its my birthday at all! I usually feel very IMPORTANT during my birthday but yesterday was just NOTHING idk, maybe the weather made it worst not to mention the GUEST who promised that would go to my birthday! fuckyeah na lang. Honestly, I understand you can’t come because of your mom’s decision. But can’t you just call me and greet, explain, ask me how was my birthday WITHOUT YOU ( it'll still suck even you’re here ), I was kinda expecting a gift from you but I guess i expected too much. Maybe a bday card would be just enough to prove that you really care.

BUT YEAH, maybe GOD didn’t let me have that HAPPINESS during my birthday because he wants me to sacrifice for my FINAL GRADE IN MATH.  So that I can passed it throughout. I went to sleep with a rosary in my hand at noon. AND FINALLY WAKING UP WITH ATHENA’S TEXT that I GOT A PASSING GRADE! and with all my fuck’n ideas running through my mind of what should I do if ever I fail math, how should I explain it to my dad and aunt, and HOW PATHETIC I AM TO MY DEAR OTHER VELEZIANS to fail math instead of ZOOLOGY and CHEMISTRY….I SHOUTED SO HARD THAT MY OLDER BROTHER CHOKED WHILE HE WAS EATING…MY DAD TOLD ME IF I WAS ” retarded ” because I was jumping everywhere. I was so happy that I can’t explain what that feeling was. All I know is that IM REALLY GOING TO HAVE MY SEMBREAK WITHOUT THE GUILT!