Friday, February 17, 2012 @ 6:18 AM 0 stares
I thought Im done with this feeling, but hey DISREGARDED we’ve meet again! People are the same no matter what, they’re all the same. They tell you you’ll get more closer when your in relationship but how come mine always fail? Why do I feel lonelier when in a relationship than when Im single?
I just don’t really get this at all.
@ 6:14 AM 0 stares
Im here sitting under these shade, looking at the stars above. The night is so gloomy, perfect time to smoke and kill my lungs again. Thinking, confused of what I did. Done with valentines.
So Im in a relationship again, for the 2nd time. Everything’s been quite nice and awesome with her. I feel like everyday is just pure bliss knowing that she’s there. Calling every night just to talk, txting every minute just to see if Im fine and finding any time just to hug and kiss. But that was a year ago, 2011.
Its 2012 by the way, and yeah we got official on JANUARY 3 right after new year. For some reason, the closeness went away. The distance went in. I felt stupid and betrayed. Days passed and I asked her why everything changed. “I’m scared to death that you’ll just leave me hanging there like I don’t mean to you. I don‘t want to be hurt.” After reading the text msg, everything just went soft and I found myself crying. I couldn’t help myself no matter how hard I try to control my emotions. Crying right after the mass and at Mang Inasal in front of Ramon and Mikee made me a weakling. Everything just crushed down.
Days passed, she said how sorry she was and I understand that. I just don’t get why EVERYTHING CHANGED. Im a very particular person and I usually notice every details of a person but If I were to choose, I THINK I’LL RATHER NOT BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND IF THIS IS JUST GOING TO BE ALWAYS. I’d rather stay on those days where you still call me every night, hug and hug and hug me, txt and reply me immediately, ask for my whereabouts, smile and sing for me, worry if I don’t reply, say good morning and good night, say IMISSYOU and ILOVEYOU and other things that I really really missed about you and, WE‘RE STILL FRIENDS. I wish you never changed at all, but you did.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011 @ 7:12 AM 0 stares
“iloveyousomuch”
For accepting my friendly request at fb. For giving me those scary glimpses at Chem Long Exam. For making that Ginabot-FirstTime-Eating awkward. For calling me when you first got hold of my digits, though I was drunk at that time. For texting me that you really wanna see me even though you’re drunk.For always attempting to call even though you knew I won’t answer it but yeah I did because you’re sweet. For forcing me to show you my Tumblr page which my ex-bf or bestfriends didn’t knew I was running one-hell-of-a-blog. For calling and talking everything about you and me during summer nights. For keeping in touch always despite the distance. For being so honest about your feelings towards me. For giving me you’re first “ILOVEYOU”. For that first hug at 1st day of 2nd year and for texting me your “THANKS FOR THE HUG” though we’re so near at that time. For forcing me go early during enrollment so that I can be your classmate. For still giving me same attention even though we’re not classmate anymore. For always finding time to see and hug me during class hours. For that first jeepney ride with you to labangon. For again, calling every night despite our anaphy and your biochem exams the next day. For the leakages. For the sweet GOOD MORNING messages that always brighten my day. For being so patient everytime I turn you down. For letting me meet your friends. For those things I want and there you are paying even though I have my money in hand already. For accompanying me. For choosing me over your classmates to spend a break with. For calling me weird names and now, LOVE. For that SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETEEST reaction when you learned that Keith is going to see me at school but still you did find me and told me how relieved you are upon seeing me drunk and not with Keith. For that first friday jogging at abellana where you lied to your parents just to go wild running with me. For that random holding of hands when we have to cross the streets and when going inside the jeep. For laughing at my jokes, flaws and mistakes. For inviting me to your debut and finally meeting your family. For still choosing me over Pochi :))))). For always telling me your whereabouts and personal probs. For being so honest to those who are having likeys in your classroom. For that first date at Da Vinci. For thats everything that should be called FIRST. For swimming with me on my 18th. For giving me that 1st dogtag and a lighter. For (s’mores) haha spelling and in songhits. For the guts to go meet my relatives. For those afternoon movies and PLL marathon. For always treating me to mcdo. For understanding and appreciating me ALWAYS. For being always there when I needddd you the moossst. For loving me. And for those things that I can’t mention cause Im running out of ideas already. I LOVE YOU and thats all I know.
Thursday, September 15, 2011 @ 10:16 AM 0 stares
As each day passes by, my feelings for you continue to grow stronger. I’ve even flirted around with the idea that I may be in love with you. Sometimes I even go as far as imagining you and me, us, together, hand in hand, as happy as can be. It’s stupid how much I think about you. The physical distance between us is undeniable. See, here I am once again, trying to talk myself out of being in love with you. My brain is constantly telling me no and that I should know better but my heart disagrees. My heart tells me that it is perfectly acceptable to be in love with you and that frightens me.
Thursday, September 8, 2011 @ 10:21 AM 0 stares
I know its nuts. But this year so far had given me IMPOSSIBLES. Things that I didn’t even think that would happen to me. The failure, shits yeah Im still not over it. It’s complete bullshit knowing that you failed and others that are not that well, the ones who’d copy any assignments from you and the ones who’d come running for you b’coz they want to learn it too, PASSED! Here I am completely behind than what I’ve expected. I feel like dumb whenever I’d see my former IRREGULAR classmates. They’d probably think of me now HOW LOW I am for such failure yet Im still not a 3rd year. And yeah, its just Im that dull. Just complete dull. I don’t even know what to do when I reach 3rd year. DAMN YOU LIBRES!
And now, this. This feeling. I know it doesn’t sound like me but I think Im deeply connected to someone. Like I’ve known her for years yet it’s only even months. Even so, Lord help me in my decisions and risks. Guide me in everything. I dont want to feel that longing again and then loss it just because of some things.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011 @ 6:15 AM 0 stares
Well, things dont work out like you always thought. So thus this memory, too.
I broke up with mr. naive on the 14th of June. 4:37 PM. Jolibee. Our supposed to be 1 year and 6 months monthsary.
Nothing special, just some fries and sodas to munch on, but that was just an excuse cause I was still thinking how to start the conversation. And yes, he was the one who bought the foods but WITH MY MONEY again. He greeted me a happy monthsary and there. I can still remember what I said, ” Annd, Last na ni pod nato na m-sarry.” He was all silent and ended up eating the 2 box of fries and drinking a cola which I intended to drink since he’s not allowed because of his hyperacidity. But I guess, that just how lame he is.
Oh well. IM NOW SINGLE. :)
Nothing special, just some fries and sodas to munch on, but that was just an excuse cause I was still thinking how to start the conversation. And yes, he was the one who bought the foods but WITH MY MONEY again. He greeted me a happy monthsary and there. I can still remember what I said, ” Annd, Last na ni pod nato na m-sarry.” He was all silent and ended up eating the 2 box of fries and drinking a cola which I intended to drink since he’s not allowed because of his hyperacidity. But I guess, that just how lame he is.
Oh well. IM NOW SINGLE. :)
Monday, May 23, 2011 @ 7:26 AM 0 stares
So here it goes, my boyfriend texted me to let him borrow some money for his fare back home. Its already our vacation so everyone’s going back at their own provinces. I arrived yesterday, and yeah I did left him. HAHA [ its just very awkward I guess. I mean Im loving GD AND TOP SO MADLY that sometimes I dont know what to do with my boyfriend anymore.]
So I did told my brother to tell dad that I need 200. Well, I actually thought that he’s never give me some but he did so YEY! I and my brother went to the nearest MLhuillier outlet to send it to mr. USER for him to go back to his MOMMMY who doesn’t even know what his son has been doing these past few days. Well, well..So it was actually my first time. I did know how to claim money but SENDING isn’t not my thing since my dad always send the money. The Mister gave me a sheet which has a SEND MONEY on it. Like any other newbie, I read everything before writing some stuff in it. All of the asked there was quite easy since its everything about keith. After giving it to the mister, I waited for him to give me some codes KPTN idk. It took several minutes before he called me with a sarcastic smile on his face. He then told me that ” Ahh…Ikaw diay uyab ni KEITH day???” and I was like ” FUCK!, FRIEND ra mn unta ako g write sa RELATION TO RECEIVER why..why…why…why??”. I just laughed sincerely like any innocent kid. He then continued,” Ahh..ikaw diay anak ni VENERANDO kana dha sa LOOC?”…..it took me like 10 seconds before I said a word. But only “HAHAHAHAH” came out. I feel so embarassed and guilty. I just ran outside and quickly ride a vehicle. In my head, I was like ” what if that mister told dad about what I did today? DAMN HE’s gonna get so mad , he’ll tell me to break up with him!” *Shit sa lahat pa namn ng taong nakakilala, ba’t sa MLHUILLIER PA! Daa…Patay dud ka ron!
But I swear..this is the last time I’ll lend him some money. The next time he’ll lend more without even paying back…I’ll rrrreaaaalllllyy break up with him. I never loved him anyway.
AND YEAH IM THAT NUMB ALREADY. Say what you want. I dont care! >:S